9:54PM
Feels like it’s been awhile since I’ve actually wrote on my tumblr, YAY my birthday’s officially in 8 days, Been counting down since december, Don’t know why though.
Anyways nothing interesting hasn’t been happening with me, I mean nothing interests me anymore, everything bores me, Nothing excites me, if I make sense … haha. I found out people do read my tumblr, people I didn’t expect too, i find it kinda creepy though for some reason, It makes me think twice again before I write things ..
So I’ve been asking myself this, Is this normal? Does this ever happen to other people too? I don’t like talking to guys, I get really shallow and cold feet towards them, I don’t know what it is … It’s been almost a year since I’ve last dated a guy or had a “thing”, I don’t consider dating again, i don’t know why, I tend to have this urge to push/shut guys out, My Aunty told me, “It’s cause your scared that your gonna get hurt again, You think all the guys you talk to are all the same, The right one will come along, Even if it means you wait a year, 2 or even 5 years, Sometimes you gotta date alot of people to find the one” I immediately said no in my head and was like it’s not that, or maybe it’s just me or maybe she’s right … I really don’t know, I sometimes think something’s wrong with me, especially when guys look/stare at me I kinda get that impression alot, Kinda makes me wanna through a egg in the face or something, Ughhhh I really need to stop putting my guard up around guys and maybe smile more often.
10:19PM now, getting tired I’ll write more tomorrow! x
Anyways goodnight.
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